Letting Go, Goodbyes and Other things that are hard to do...

I don't understand.
My Carissa plants are dying.
They are getting water, they are getting sun, they have everything they need and yet... they wilt, they tilt, they brown and crumble.
"Sometimes plants just die," Boots tells me.

But why?
Surely there was something I could have done differently?
Surely I have made some grievous error that I must amend!
Or, is he right?
Maybe sometimes, things just die,
and it has nothing to do with me at all.

The other day the pool turned green.
This is a most feared experience of all caretakers..
I weeped, I cried, I shouted.
I called friends from far and wide for support
What had I done to deserve this?
Hadn't I given it everything it ever wanted and this is how it repays me?
"Sometimes it just happens and we don't know why. It's a mystery," the Captain states.

Boots jumps into his car.
His brown guitar case next to his packed bag in the back seat.
Cowboy hat sits passenger.
He's shirtless and beautiful and I can see the excitement of upcoming adventure shine through those blue eyes.
They are getting ready to fly far, far, away.
"Do you think we will ever see each other again?" he asks.
"I don't know," I say.
He drives off and I walk back down the road lying to myself about how "fine" I am. "Perfectly fine," I think.
Just wish I had some whiskey lying around in the rafters to swallow this big lump in my throat.

"Funny how love comes and goes," she says.
Staring out across the ocean I understand.
Love is the tide in the sea and we are the shore.
We are not the sculpting it. It is sculpting us.
And I feel powerless again...

Plants are going to die, pools are going to turn green, friends will leave.
And though whiskey does solve a number of problems these are not any of them.
Sometimes you have to let go, say goodbye and then get on with the shovelling, the scrubbing or the sobbing as the case may be.


In the end, despite the difficulty and pain of it all,
new plants will arrive,
the pool may mysteriously turn clear,
and I'll be glad I loved while I had the chance.

Just wish I could skip over all this hard part.